New Start. New Life. New Beginnings. What is it that you really want?


What is it that you really want?

Take a minute to think about what it is that you don’t want. Now try thinking about what it is that you do want.

I bet the first one was easier, wasn’t it?

You’d think knowing what you want would be easy, but actually, how many times do we find ourselves asking and reflecting on it?

Like the seasons, we are continually moving and evolving. What fitted us years ago, might suddenly seem too tight. We need room to change and grow, but may only become aware when it gets too painful or we are forced by circumstance to re-evaluate. We don’t need to wait until it becomes unbearable. We can develop a mind-set and lifestyle where change and re-evaluation are the norm.

How to take action and make that change you’ve been putting off

Choose ONE thing you want to change. Doing more than one at a time is going to overwhelm you.

Break it down into five smaller (achievable) steps

Concentrate on one at a time. Commit to it and make yourself accountable: write it in your diary, make plans, tell your friends…

Once you’ve completed it, reward yourself for being brave and taking action. Then move on to the next one.  The reward part is essential is maintaining motivation.

Like any garden, in order for it to thrive, we need to regularly pull out the weeds and make sure the soil is nourished and turned before new seeds can be planted. So first, let’s address three common fears that hold us back from making changes:

I haven’t got what it takes/I’m not good enough.

I’m sure this must be the most common negative thought; the one that distinguishes those people living happy and healthy lives from those who aren’t. Sometimes we only know how capable we are when we dare to take the leap. Your inner dialogue is defining you; keep it in check.

I’m selfish if I focus on what I want.

This is such a common misconception. Imagine a time where you felt loved, supported, passionate and accomplished. Felt good, didn’t it? Happy, whole people make the world a better place. Everyone benefits.

I haven’t got the time/money/energy.

We all have limits. And you’re partly right - having abundant resources would help. Unfortunately, comparing one’s scarce resources to someone else’s fortune has never done anyone any good. It doesn’t matter if you are on benefits or a millionaire. Accept what your situation is and move on. We all have to budget and we all have a choice over how we are using our time and money. The question you need to ask yourself is this: Am I using my precious resources to go in the direction of my dream or away from it?

Remember: we ALL get scared of change. Whether it is a career change, putting ourselves out there for love or confronting our demons. Take comfort from nature and remember that spring does- and always will- come.

Need help making a change or finding out what it is that you really want? Get in touch for more info on how counselling or coaching can help you.

“True success is overcoming the fear of being successful.”

-Paul Sweety

Love, Ismene xxx

Ismene Coleicole