Well here we are in another year, how has yours been so far?
2017 has been much busier than I was anticipating- everything seems to be happening at once! I’ve just come back from booking my wedding venue in Spain and am also unexpectedly in the process of buying a house- only 6 days from finding it to having our offer accepted in an area I wasn’t even looking in! Although, I have had “buying a home with ease” on my vision board for the last 8 months, and I am a big believer in putting your intention out there and then being flexible about where it takes you, so maybe I shouldn’t be that surprised…
I’m now settling back into some kind of normality- for now- and last night revisited my intentions, words and goals for 2017. A month into the New Year, after the excitement wears off, we can start coming up against our blocks and need re-focusing. If this is you, fear not, let’s look at what some of those blocks might be…
THE PERMISSION TO BE FABULOUS
When I ask my clients what is preventing them from achieving X, feeling better or changing behaviour to live a more satisfying life, a common theme is permission. On some level they don’t have the inner permission or are waiting for someone else to give it to them.
The good news is we don’t have to wait for anyone to give us permission- we might be waiting a long time and whilst it’s great to receive a reminder or nudge, ultimately it’s our job.
OUR INNER RULE BOOK
We all internalise rules in the early years of our life on how to be acceptable in the world. These rules seem essential to be able to get our needs met and as a result most of our decisions and actions are filtered through them.
This is a great survival mechanism when we are young. For example if you grow up with a violent parent, it might be a sensible and safe decision to keep small and quiet, but as an adult, unless we update and change our inner rules, we might easily be bullied or manipulated, or miss opportunities because we can’t speak up.
CHECK YOUR RULE BOOK:
It’s good to regularly check your rule book and deifier which ones helpful, and which ones are blocking your success, relationships, happiness and ultimate potential.
If part of you wants something but you don’t have the permission to have it because of an old story that has a higher emotional value, you will remain where you are, sabotage it, or attract people and circumstances that won’t be able give you what you need. This is all very frustrating and can leave us feeling hopeless.
We can see this happening most obviously when it comes to relationships and money: wanting a close relationship but always choosing unavailable partners, having a good salary but always being in debt etc…
Once you become aware of your rules, you can start the process of re-writing ones that need updating.
So let’s start with permission, here is your permission slip for 2017…
- What rule might be driving that behaviour?
- How has that rule helped you in the past?
- Why is that rule still turning up in your life, what it is hoping to protect you from or help you with?
- What new rule or permission would be more helpful to you in your present life?
PERMISSION SLIP 2017
You have the permission to..
-Take your time and go at your own pace
-Think for yourself
-Be unique, be you, be fabulous
-Have different opinions and belief systems from the people you love and still be close
-Ask for help and support and still be ok if that person is unable to provide it at that particular time
-Change your mind, say you don’t know and ask for time to think about it
-Please yourself as well as other people
-Say no to plans, people and circumstances that hurt or harm you or just because it’s right thing to do for you in that moment
-Nourish yourself as well as others
-Do things just for fun or joy with no outcome or agenda
-Get things wrong, fail, not have all the answers and still like and approve of yourself
-Be attractive, wealthy, successful, happy, and be a decent human being (so many people worry about this!!)
-Shine and stand out, even if it intimidates other people (we are not responsible for others insecurities, it is their responsibility to work on that)
-Listen to other peoples grievances, feelings and opinions, access if it’s accurate, fair and relevant, and decide if, how and when you respond.
-To not be available 100% of the time. Yes it’s ok to turn your phone off and answer when you can, otherwise we are all going to have a nervous breakdown by year 2018.
-Live by your own moral and ethical conduct and standards and think, behave and act in a way that you feel is right, as long as it is within the law and doesn’t harm others.
-Be treated with respect regardless of belief systems, skin colour, class or religion, or gender (timely considering what is going on in the world right now!!)
-To have HUGE dreams, aspirations, hopes and desires and not have to explain them or justify them in “realistic” terms (unless you are trying to get a bank loan :))
-To change, grow and evolve, and as a result re-contract the terms of your life and relationships as you go along.